Joy Supersedes Disease

The joy of being physical, alive, your body walking on two feet with every intention of getting better and better, no matter what the 'odds' might look like.

Joy, the most natural feeling, that which is most suited to your human body: it lights up your shadowy face with a smile on your lips while the whites of your eyes clarify, and your pupils exude all the energy and warmth your body produces every moment.

Your hands reach out and touch. Belly, chest and legs meet body to body with another person for a hug. On contact, your body sighs with satisfaction, your mind races with innovation, and every cell exhales with deep relaxation.

Joy superseded disease. I refuse to sink into the hole of depression. I'm in charge. It's not something I'm fighting against, I'm not 'battling' cancer. I'm living, and keeping my connection with other people who feel that living free of, and outliving death, is the supreme way of life. No one has done it yet. No one has lived past 200 years, standing on the planet declaring to the world, 'Look, I have beaten death!"

Let me be the one, along with all others who feel the same, who speaks the words of physical immortality, ending death row, no matter how silly it may sound to some, or even the majority.

Cancer and death are silly. Ludicrous. Disease, aging and death are ruthless. 100% success rate so far on planet earth. They take individuals one at a time, no matter how healthy, no matter how strong.

This joy I'm speaking about is aligned with a purity of heart and action, with integrity of movement with oneself and others. Cancer, this lost breast you see in the photographs is the end of my corrupt life, my corrupt personalities that led me down the slimey, litter strewn alleys of Sydney, searching for drugs, and for the games people play.

Time was just a measuring stick imposed on my life, the hours months years-endless, and all the unhappiness I felt, stagnating moment by moment as I ignored change and freedom of my flesh. I was ignorant, and the stagnation built into a rock hard breast.

Now that I know what it is to feel soft and melted and trusting with the deep knowing that I have no end, no reason to exit, am focused on living with greater health and prosperity and love, I understand how corrupt my life has been. My words, thoughts and deeds. Tainted with the wasting disease of not giving a shit, a shit about myself, playing roulette with every LSD trip, hash oil joint, and sick human relationships.

Skin and bones and organs, all in decline with every snort of cocaine, every joint rolled, every sex act consumated with mind and body split, every hated job worked at, the suppression of my creative talents and capacity for joy and life.

It's a different story now. I'm outliving that past, that girl child died while I kept walking. She died because she had to and because I decided she would die alone, and not take me with her.