The ending of a relationship and odors of decay

The odors of decay can get to be overwhelming some days, during periods of tumor deterioration, like these past few weeks, and it being directly under my nose, despite the bandages covering the wound, I am left to smell the mouldy, acidy, rotting smell of flesh being removed slowly, over time.

These days I am emerging out of the shock of another broken relationship. I know I created the break, just as I created the coming together at the start.

I also know, that I was willing to overcome all the obstacles that prevented us from staying close, together, every excited. I have that in me. This characteristic of being a person who can go everywhere and all the way with another person, is a wonderful feeling to have and maintain. I can nurture that feeling, it comes with a dedication to the other and to myself. To not allow separation to be an option, because how easy is it to tear apart and start again? I find it hard on the body, unless I'm 100% in agreement with it. My preference is to let go every minute and start fresh with the person. Speak what is in my heart, be heard and move on.

But you need the other person to want this way of being at the same time. If they don't, then, there is no where to go with them or with yourself, except away, because it's always better to be alone and relaxed than in the presence of a person who is slowly turning off to you, who is led by ego rather than a melted need for you.

Now, I am going to live with myself and take care of the things that need to be taken care of, my health, my joy, my prosperity. I won't be looking around for the next one to fill my time and my mind. It's going to be new for me, and I'm doing it.